Christmas has snuck up

Wow!
I've really realized this week, how Christmas can really sneak up on a person, more so when you're living in the adult world.  No chance of a Christmas sneaking up on you when you're a child.  As a child, I just lived for that time of year and of course impatiently watched the calendar as that special day with family and gifts and food arrived.  Now, sometimes it seems that Christmas is an inconvenience. I have so much to get done and it can't be done because everyone is busy preparing for Christmas.  Meetings with volunteers, small group Bible studies, and most other church activities get set aside for the big season.  At one time I faced this with frustration, but isn't all this activity what the Israelites did with their big days.  They even travelled miles on foot to arrive at the Holy city of Jerusalem for the festive sabbath.  And Christmas is really one of the Christian's festive sabbaths.  So, I've come to the conclusion that there is no point in destroying the mood of the season by fighting this flurry of activity.  It seems to me to be a better option to just celebrate everyone's business and to respect their concept of enjoying the season.  And when invited, to simply join in the rush, to do my part to prepare for the remembrance of this awesome season, and to embrace it to the best of my ability.  As the old saying goes "If you can't beat them, join them".  Well, here goes "Merry Christmas everyone".  Whew, that wasn't so bad, what's next?

Lets start a movement

Lately it has occured to me that much time and energy goes into healing the abused and working with males who have proven themselves to be abusive.  All of these efforts are great for addressing the problem after it has occurred, but what about preventive measures?  In my experience with working with abusive men, very few have a desire to be abusive.  Most just don't know that the activities they are involved in are having an abusive impact or what leadership means if it doesn't involve power and control.  We live in a culture where many of our males grow up in single parent homes that are absent of good male role models.  Or, in homes where the role model is anything but nurturing a healthy home environment.  TV doesn't exactly paint a great picture, nor does the movie industry.  So how can we expect men to provide a healthy home environment without the tools?   New Hope Family Ministries (check out our facebook page) is all about providing the tools.  However, to get men (and women) interested in using the tools I believe that we need to start a national movement of intolerance towards abuse and a passion for healthy homes.  If you are interested in being a part of this journey with me, I welcome your help.

Concerts, weddings and long fall walks

If you're wondering what weddings, concerts and long fall walks have in common, the answer is practically nothing except the fulfillment of my weekend. It has truly been an interesting weekend. There is however, one other additional link to these events, they all seemed to have a common theme. Have you ever experienced a time in your life when a theme kept popping up wherever you turned? That's my weekend as well, the theme is the power of God. It began Friday morning when I opened my Bible to a passage in Matthew 21:18-22. The Spirit of God told me as I was reading this passage to pay close attention to one particular phrase; "if you have faith and do not doubt... you can say to this mountain, 'go throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done." Wow, I have never experienced anything close to this kind of power, yet here Jesus is stating that it is at hand. Friday evening the power of God came up once again. My wife and I were at a Robin Mark concert (Revival in Belfast) where the guest speaker was Calvin Miller. Calvin Miller is a very elderly man who has written a lot of Christian poetry and books. Calvin was talking to us about the revival of the Celtics. To make a long story short, one of the points raised was the discovery of the power of God. The Celtics had a special word for this power, which they discovered in amazing ways during the revival years. It seems that this revival power truly had the ability to transform. People were changed, bodies healed, peace restored.
Saturday, I attended a beautiful wedding. It truly is a delight to see a godly couple, who understands what it means to live and walk the Christian faith, come together in a God honouring marriage. Anyway, this is the third time God spoke to me about His power. The theme passage was on Ephesians 3:16-19. "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with his power through his spirit in your inner being... And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ... Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us..." Uncanny isn't it, how when God speaks the theme keeps reverberating until we finally get the message.
So how do I apply this message? I'm still working on the answer to that question. Today, I heard the cry of a mother to be who has been told that her baby, yet to be born, has some of its organs developing outside of the baby's body. And I wondered, what does the power of God have to say to this mother? How should I pray? What if I prayed for complete healing, but God chooses not to heal? Would the mother's faith be crushed?
Today, I also went to Webster's falls, where we witnessed the power of nature. The beauty that God created through his power was very evident. But that beauty also bears with it the knowledge that the colour in the trees is a sign that the leaf has died and the tree will soon be bare. And the water falls will shortly be frozen still in the winter months to follow.
In the beginning of the Matthew passage, that I read Friday morning, Jesus cursed a fig tree because he was hungry and it had no figs. The creator of all the universe cursed a tree because it failed to live up to its purpose in life. This is the same passage that talks about the power to move mountains. Jesus says that the same power used to whither the fig tree could also be used to move mountains. I wondered what the link was?
It seems to me that God is telling us that we have the power to live out the purpose he has called us to live. For those who are married that purpose includes providing a loving environment for our families to be nurtured and to discover and experience the fulness of God. Our purpose may also be in reaching out to those who are hurting with the hope of Christ. Or, our purpose may be something else, but whatever it is, we can be sure that it requires giving glory back to our creator. And, if we fail to live out our purpose that same power which created us may also condemn us to a life of unfruitfulness. For humans, I can't think of a more tragic fate on this earth, than to fail to live up to our purpose in life, especially since we have all been given the option to plug into the power that will allow us to not only yield a fruitful life, but life that can also move mountains for the cause of Christ.

Birthdays and Reflections

Happy Thanksgiving - a day we set aside to celebrate what we generally take for granted. I have the added privilege of celebrating the life of someone on thanksgiving who has come to mean a lot to me. My wife's birthday is today, she is doing my daughter's laundry. I said to her, "hey, this is your birthday, you don't have to do laundry," thinking that she should be reading a magazine or something. However, her response to me was, "I won't feel right if the laundry is not finished." In reflection, it is that attitude of responsibility to our home, family and relationship that has really added to the glue of my love for her. There are so many things that she does daily, which I recognize when they are not done, but probably take for granted when they are done. Isn't that typical? Anyway, thanks Carol, I love you. Happy birthday!
Last week my father also had a birthday. He turned 80 this year. I can remember when 80 meant, in my mind, confined to bed or chair; physically not able to benefit the family, but relied upon for insight and historical memories. Not so with my father, he has spent the past few months re-building our kitchen cupboards and building a bathroom vanity for us, along with other tasks. Thanks dad!
What makes the difference? Health to be sure, but also an attitude of purpose. Each morning, he gets up with a purpose, the day ahead is somewhat planned, goals set. To be unhealthy is not an option, that would only get in the way. One of the things my father may be indirectly teaching me is that purpose is a primary motivator in order to function in life. As part of my role at our church, it is my task to walk through a process with individuals which helps them see who God has designed them to be. Part of that journey requires listening to your personal heartbeat. I don't mean this in the sense of what your doctor might do, but in an Emotional and Spiritual sense. For instance, in what aspects of life to you discover your heart being passionate about life's issues? What do you love to do? Who do you love to do it for? I don't mean a romantic gesture for your special heart throb, but an activity you long to do or be able to do for the community and world you live in. Its the type of stuff that makes people volunteer for the cancer society, or MS research or foster children or care for the elderly. If you are looking for your mission or purpose in life, begin to journal the cry of your heart. Keep a note book handy and write down each occasion when you have heard or witnessed something which made you want to be able to take action to correct the situation. See if there's a pattern. Your heart is giving you a message. If you listen to it, it may inspire you to live another day, because you can't afford to miss the opportunity to accomplish the mission which each day provides.

Relationship Fundamentals Part 2

As mentioned in the previous blog, relationships require 3 elements: Trust, Loyalty, and Communication. When one of these elements goes wrong, the whole relationship suffers and becomes unhealthy. Gratefully, the reverse is also true. When we work on improving one of these areas, it affects the entire relationship.
So what do you look for in a healthy relationship? I would begin with checking out values. For instance, is integrity a high value? If the individual lies or is dishonest in any area of their life, you can be sure that when the moment best suits their interest that they will also be dishonest with you. How do they treat their employer? What happens when a retailer makes a mistake which clearly will cost them money, do they point it out? Is cheating a common practice in games, recreational activities or income tax reporting? Do they ignore copyrights? If so, this individual is clearly watching out for number 1 at all costs. This means that their loyalty to you will only be strong for as long as it benefits themselves.
Another value is respect. Does their speech or actions belittle you, always discourage, or come across as constantly judging, negative and toxic? If this is the case, you can be pretty sure that their trust level in you is not at an equal par with themselves. They struggle with fully placing their confidence in someone, who they see as not measuring up to their standards? In this type of relationship, you will always feel like the lesser partner. How can you discover your full potential if your partner is always looking down upon you, rather than encouraging you and building you up? Subconsciously, you will always wonder when the day will come when your partner decides to choose someone they are more satisfied with.
Another value is loyalty. When something goes wrong, does the individual seek to correct the situation so as to restore or maintain the relationship, or do they cut ties and run? Are they always quitting and starting new jobs because they can't get along with their employer? Do they maintain connections with family? Are their friendships fickle? Are they always claiming to be the victim, and never seeking resolution? These are good signs to watch for. If their commitment is weak in other areas of their life, you can be sure that the day will come when their loyalty will break with you as well. Rather than hang in their for better or worse, it will be easier for them to run away and start over.
If you or your partner struggles with one of these values, I'm not saying that you should give it up, but be aware of the need to change your values and behaviour patterns if you want relationships to flourish. Values are a root issue that when healthy produce a great yeild. Someone who values relationships, should constantly be evaluating themselves in these 3 areas.

Relationship Fundamentals

Last night I was exploring with a life group the Genesis 3 account of sin entering the world. I was reminded once again of some work that I did several years back on relationship. One of the biggest tragedies within the Genesis 3 story is that the relationship between God and man was destroyed. In my reflections on relationship, I have basically dissected relationship into 3 components.

1. Loyalty or Commitment - This is the part of you that wills to stay in the relationship.
2. Trust or Faith - This is the part which makes us the most vulnerable to the other person.
3. Communication - This is the part which gets the message across, not always verbal.

In the Genesis 3 story, the serpent begins to destroy the relationship through the process of getting Adam and Eve to question God's word. "Did He say..." "You will not really die..." "He knows that if you do this, that you will be like Him..." In other words, "don't trust God, He's holding back on you."

It seems to me that at the root of our issues, we will often find a component of distrust, if not in God, in someone else or in ourselves. There may be legitimate reasons for distrusting someone else or ourselves, but not God. John 8:44 tells us that Satan's native language is lies, God's native language is truth. Distrust in self and others is generally not initiated by God, although it becomes much more complex than this statement implies.

After Adam and Eve believed Satan over God, they ate of the tree that they were told not to eat from. This act meant that they broke loyalty between themselves and God. After they ate, they hid from God. They were afraid to have their usual walk in the park talk. Later when God confronts them, the communication turned into the blame game. They were no longer the rulers (1:26) God designed them to be, but they were now claiming to be victims of each other, the snake and God. And so the pattern goes. When we live short of our full potential, it is often due to an attitude of being a victim. We are victims of each other, our culture, the law, and often we feel victim of God, because He's in charge and look at the mess I'm in.

If you truly want to begin some introspection as to what's going on with relationship issues that are off the track, I would suggest that you find out where you are within this pattern. You will likely discover that if the communication is sour, so is the loyalty, and so is the trust. If you seem stuck, unable to move forward in reaching your full potential, I can almost guarantee that you are blaming someone or something. In other words you are living as a victim.

Stay tuned for Part 2

How do you treat your waiter?

Yesterday, I did a devotion based on Isaiah 58 with the staff at our church. In summary, God speaks within this chapter to His people with regards to worship. They are complaining that they are doing all of the right things with regards to seeking God, but God is not responding. God's answer is, "you have put worship into a box, you can't fast for a day and then as soon as the fast is ended go about your business as if I (God) don't exist."
Recently, I have heard from sources who have had the privilege of waiting upon Christians after church. Their complaint is that Christians are the most rude, demanding and the least generous in tipping. Hmm. Sounds like Christians worship in the building of the church, but then forget about pleasing God in the building of the restaurant. If you are one of these believers who treats those service workers outside of the church in ways that you would not want to be treated, then Isaiah 58 has a message for you, "don't expect God to respond to your prayers."
Later that same day I overheard someone on the phone to an organization, apparently they wanted service beyond what they felt should have been provided. They spoke loudly, harshly, rudely and demanded a response in a way that made me feel thankful that I wasn't on the other end of the phone. This is another way in which Christians need to take inventory of their lives. I can only imagine what it must be like for those who have the unfortunate experience of working in the service industry when they are the front of people's anger, but have nothing to do with the company's policies. Hopefully that poor individual did not receive the same response from non-Christians that they were receiving from a Christian. I confess, I too have to make an effort to control my tongue at times. However, we must face the fact that true worship is in exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit at all times, not just in church. God does not give us an exemption to treat people in the service industry differently because we don't like something on the menu, or the service, or the policies of the company they work for. If we want God to hear our prayers, we must practice worship outside of the church building. That means being kind to all people. So the next time you or I feel like spouting off, lets consider our worship, it may make a difference to the person who is about to receive our....