Relationship Fundamentals

Last night I was exploring with a life group the Genesis 3 account of sin entering the world. I was reminded once again of some work that I did several years back on relationship. One of the biggest tragedies within the Genesis 3 story is that the relationship between God and man was destroyed. In my reflections on relationship, I have basically dissected relationship into 3 components.

1. Loyalty or Commitment - This is the part of you that wills to stay in the relationship.
2. Trust or Faith - This is the part which makes us the most vulnerable to the other person.
3. Communication - This is the part which gets the message across, not always verbal.

In the Genesis 3 story, the serpent begins to destroy the relationship through the process of getting Adam and Eve to question God's word. "Did He say..." "You will not really die..." "He knows that if you do this, that you will be like Him..." In other words, "don't trust God, He's holding back on you."

It seems to me that at the root of our issues, we will often find a component of distrust, if not in God, in someone else or in ourselves. There may be legitimate reasons for distrusting someone else or ourselves, but not God. John 8:44 tells us that Satan's native language is lies, God's native language is truth. Distrust in self and others is generally not initiated by God, although it becomes much more complex than this statement implies.

After Adam and Eve believed Satan over God, they ate of the tree that they were told not to eat from. This act meant that they broke loyalty between themselves and God. After they ate, they hid from God. They were afraid to have their usual walk in the park talk. Later when God confronts them, the communication turned into the blame game. They were no longer the rulers (1:26) God designed them to be, but they were now claiming to be victims of each other, the snake and God. And so the pattern goes. When we live short of our full potential, it is often due to an attitude of being a victim. We are victims of each other, our culture, the law, and often we feel victim of God, because He's in charge and look at the mess I'm in.

If you truly want to begin some introspection as to what's going on with relationship issues that are off the track, I would suggest that you find out where you are within this pattern. You will likely discover that if the communication is sour, so is the loyalty, and so is the trust. If you seem stuck, unable to move forward in reaching your full potential, I can almost guarantee that you are blaming someone or something. In other words you are living as a victim.

Stay tuned for Part 2