Relationship Fundamentals Part 2

As mentioned in the previous blog, relationships require 3 elements: Trust, Loyalty, and Communication. When one of these elements goes wrong, the whole relationship suffers and becomes unhealthy. Gratefully, the reverse is also true. When we work on improving one of these areas, it affects the entire relationship.
So what do you look for in a healthy relationship? I would begin with checking out values. For instance, is integrity a high value? If the individual lies or is dishonest in any area of their life, you can be sure that when the moment best suits their interest that they will also be dishonest with you. How do they treat their employer? What happens when a retailer makes a mistake which clearly will cost them money, do they point it out? Is cheating a common practice in games, recreational activities or income tax reporting? Do they ignore copyrights? If so, this individual is clearly watching out for number 1 at all costs. This means that their loyalty to you will only be strong for as long as it benefits themselves.
Another value is respect. Does their speech or actions belittle you, always discourage, or come across as constantly judging, negative and toxic? If this is the case, you can be pretty sure that their trust level in you is not at an equal par with themselves. They struggle with fully placing their confidence in someone, who they see as not measuring up to their standards? In this type of relationship, you will always feel like the lesser partner. How can you discover your full potential if your partner is always looking down upon you, rather than encouraging you and building you up? Subconsciously, you will always wonder when the day will come when your partner decides to choose someone they are more satisfied with.
Another value is loyalty. When something goes wrong, does the individual seek to correct the situation so as to restore or maintain the relationship, or do they cut ties and run? Are they always quitting and starting new jobs because they can't get along with their employer? Do they maintain connections with family? Are their friendships fickle? Are they always claiming to be the victim, and never seeking resolution? These are good signs to watch for. If their commitment is weak in other areas of their life, you can be sure that the day will come when their loyalty will break with you as well. Rather than hang in their for better or worse, it will be easier for them to run away and start over.
If you or your partner struggles with one of these values, I'm not saying that you should give it up, but be aware of the need to change your values and behaviour patterns if you want relationships to flourish. Values are a root issue that when healthy produce a great yeild. Someone who values relationships, should constantly be evaluating themselves in these 3 areas.